iChunky

So here we go. It's my birthday. I am 31 years old. I graduated nursing school a year ago. In october I will have been married 7 years and in November my daughter turns 6. I have learned in the past couple of years (especially in nursing school) that fast food is easier, energy drinks get me thru the day and cigarettes...yes I said it, cigarettes calm the pre and post exam freak outs. So here I am, a year after nursing school stopping for smokes, a candy bar and a Rockstar nearly every day. My child doesn't know I smoke, I sneak them. I complained to my husband about smoking, he quit...months ago. Here I am nearly 50lbs heavier than I have EVER been piling in a chocolate cake for my birthday breakfast and late lunch. I feel terrible, have a horrible cough yet I want to have a smoke to finish off my lunch.

THIS HAS TO STOP. I see people that knew the pre baby/nursing school me and I see the looks on their faces. I can hear their inner thoughts... "woah...she's not so hot these days" or "I hope I don't look like that at 31" My best friend, my eating partner thru pregnancy. The girl I called to get my peanut butter blizzard fix has lost over 60lbs. I am no longer the hot friend. I can't sit down without my stomach going over my jeans although I do wear a bikini to the beach (hey, we are North Carolina girls after all) I have NO business doing it. None. Zero. Zilch.

So. Since I am forced to watch iCarly all day every day, why not have some accountability with you people online. iChunky is now my documentation of what I'm doing to get the title "the hot chick" (or now "the hot old chick") back. In the nursing world, if it wasn't documented, it wasn't done. So here it is. Documentation.

I'm off to finish my birthday chocolate cake, smoke a cigarette and drink my last Rockstar. Wish me luck.